Monday, June 30, 2008

Friends and moving

So, for those of you who know me, you know that several of our closest friends have moved over the past year and a half. Dave and I used to be in the military (for those of you who don't know), so I thought we were used to the whole "friends moving" thing. I even remember telling more than one person, when saddened by the departure of a friend, that friends come in and out of our lives and the ones we are meant to remain friends with won't go away simply because their address has changed. And I do still firmly believe that. But, can I just tell you that it sucks to be on the "staying here" end of all these moves! At least when you're the one moving, you have the excitement of starting over in a new place and making new friends because you'll be out exploring new places (for those of you who have moved recently, I'm sure you'd disagree . . . and, when I was the one moving, I would side with you. But, since this is my blog, I'm talking about this from my perspective right now :-)). But, when you're the one staying put - it just sucks! I know, I know - I can get out there and meet new people, and I still have many dear friends who are still here. But the process of making friends is always such a daunting task!
Ok, so, when faced with an issue like this, I like to make lists. It's my way of controlling my environment (I know, I know - I'm working through this, really!). So, here is my list of good things that come from friends moving:
(1) You get to know neighbors you never knew you had.
(2) You become "chatty" with the people in the check-out line at the food store again (lesson learned, though - people aren't as chatty at Wal-Mart!).
(3) You learn new computer applications, in an attempt to stay in touch with friends who have moved (Facebook, anyone?!).
(4) You reconnect with your husband (poor Dave!).
(5) You rediscover library story times . . . all of them.
(6) You explore new ways to get to know people (Yahoo! Groups is kind of a cool thing!).
(7) You read more books.
(8) You make lists.

So, I guess this whole "friends moving" thing isn't so bad after all . . . Hey, any reason for me to have to make more lists is a good reason to me! And to those friends of mine who are actually reading this -- I miss you guys!!!


Jenn B said...

1) Not that I'm the only moved friend but: I miss you too.

2) I too have rediscovered library time & due to that, discovered summer library programs & we are on a first name basis with the kids section librarians ( kids are anyway, i'm just 'the mom')

3) i also have new 'internet friends'. I always blush when i find myself referring to something one of them..."said"...when in a real life conversation.

4) I have scared away at least 2 "in real life" new people i've met, pretty sure i was just too overtly eager to have new friends & new playmates for the kids. Trying to re-learn how to hide my weirdness till they get a chance to get to know me first. ;)

5) Being an Army Brat, i have on many many many occasions been the one who moved. It's hard & can be lonely ect. but yes, you at least have the comfort of 'new & exciting'. I was only on the 'staying' end once (when Jenn A. moved) & while it was not SO bad since i still had my other close friends around, it was difficult. I would say in my opinion if we were in reverse shoes, your end is harder. It's odd to have to forge new relationships when everything else looks the same. Not that it's bad. Just strange(r).

6) The song, "make new friends but keep the old" has been playing on repeat in my mind since december. It bothers me b/c it seems to imply one of the two (i suppose the 'gold' ones) are better friends...and i'm not sure how i feel about that. I remember being bothered by that as a kid as well (i learned this in girl scouts when i lived in germany).

Dana said...

I LOVE the summer library program! They still use the treasure chest idea, too, which I know my library used when I was a kid. I think I'm way more excited by it than John!
Isn't it funny how you have to "play it cool" when you're making new friends - it's like dating, but with kids attached. Weird.
And, finally, I totally agree about the song. I actually had not had it in my head this time, though - so thanks for reintroducing it . . . ;-)